Wednesday, October 28, 2009

=)

So, I think today is absolutely beautiful. It's cool and windy, there's hope and laughter in the breeze. And the best part is that today is a new day! Don't forget to smile today :D

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Words

I want to talk about what we say, and why it matters. I find that women in general say a lot of things that put themselves down. It's almost cultural sometimes. I mean, you've heard it, and chances are 99 to 100 you've said stuff like this too. I was trying on this dress at Target the other day with a friend who, as it happened, has the same dress. I laughed as I was trying it on, and said, "This dress looks better on you!" Right there: comparison. She even called me out on it, asking me if I read my own blog. Good for her! The truth is we both look great in that dress and the greater truth is that it doesn't matter. We say this kind of thing all the time, though, even in efforts to be polite or funny. "Have you seen my hair today? Agh!" We say it as a kind of conversation carrier, as if it is to be laughed at that we hold these views of ourselves. But who's laughing? Satan?

Or sometimes, it's like we say things like this in anticipation of what we are sure everyone else must already be thinking. It's almost an apology to the world for not being good enough. These things seem so innocent, and I think we intend them that way. But they reveal a surface level analysis of the deeper way we see ourselves, and I'm not ok with that. Because the sad truth is that so many of us don't believe that we are good enough. It's not the kind of thing you'd walk around saying, typically, or even thinking. It's one of those subtleties that quietly manifests itself in actions. When we don't believe we are good enough, we behave as if we have something to be sorry about, and when people respond to us, we confirm the lie we believe. We tell ourselves subconsciously (or consciously) that we were right, and we propagate the lie in our lives. What another ugly cycle! Because we are good enough by definition. What is it that we are so afraid we are not good enough for? Why does our self worth dangle so precariously on this one cruel word "enough"? Who lied to us and told us we were not? Who whispers to us that we will never be? And what of this comparison? Why compare apples and oranges? Or roses and lilies? Aren't both beautiful? Sweet? Endearing? ...Precious? And aren't you?

Sunday, October 18, 2009

People

People are beautiful: each on an individual collage of artistic expression. In all our peculiarity, our gruffness, our utter humanness, we are somehow terribly endearing. I think once you understand people as people, and not as likenesses of yourself, they somehow are freed to become this beautiful and yet impossible compilation of complexity intermingled with a blunt reality of being...Each so different and each so much the same. How can you hate humanity when it looks at you so precociously, so unaware of itself? How can you not love its subtleties: those little pieces of itself that it ushers forth and then tries to retract as if not allowed? How cautious and how reckless we are, humans: oblivious of ourselves in all our charming everyday-ness...sigh. I love that we are people, and not the less, that we are human.

Friday, October 16, 2009

The Importance of Encouraging Men

I remember as a child observing marriages where the woman did not stand behind her husband, and I remember being consistently stricken by how wrong it seemed, how counterproductive. As I got older, I began to watch the same relationships or other similar ones and began to notice a pattern that emerged: women who didn't support their man, who didn't believe in him were instrumental in making him ineffective, and then they would tear him down more because they perceived that he was less than he could be. What a cycle. I remember marveling at the destruction it causes! I still do, for that matter. I'm so struck lately by this conviction that we as women have this incredible gift and ability to empower the men in our lives to become the men they want to be, to inspire them to chase the horizon, live their dreams, become truer versions of themselves, and what an untapped power it often is! What a high calling, and a beautiful art, because no man can empower another man the way a woman - the way you or I - can. Similarly, no man can so easily disable another man the way we can...what glories and what tragedies can come from the same ability. I for one hope never to forget to appreciate someone I am with.

Life makes that so hard sometimes. And like any of our deep needs that aren't met, I understand that there are men that have abused this desire of their heart. Humans can become ugly people when their souls are neglected. I don't dismiss that. We as women can become equally manipulative and controlling - unbeautiful in our own way - when we do not feel the desires of our heart: being valued, pursued, beautiful, "worth it". Perhaps I too firmly believe that people are a product of their unmet needs. Regardless, though, I want to encourage you today to think about this, and to understand how it fits into your life. Maybe you're married, maybe you're dating, maybe you're single or any number of complicated places in-between. But don't neglect the power you have to uplift the men in your life, nor the transformative power of love on principle. We are transfigured when we are wholly loved.

Think about this. And rejoice in it, because what can be greater than constructive love? Love by nature builds. And love is inherently beautiful. Love - genuine, authentic, not-a-feeling love - is the beautification, and not the less the purification of our souls. And as fervently as I say that, I also clarify it by saying that we cannot love this way unless we have been first Loved this way by the Designer of our hearts. Otherwise, none of it clicks in place, nor quite makes sense to its completion. At least not to our hearts. Love is an effort, but effort does not beget love. And we are much too selfish of creatures not want the same effort in return. More on this later, perhaps.

Till then, have a blessed night. My best wishes to you =)

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Journal Excerpt from 8-2-09

Oh, Reader, how could I ever tell you of the journey of the soul: that mountainous, perilous, indispensable, meaningless, joy-filled, sorrow-laden climb? Funny how I think you wouldn't understand. But have you not struggled? Have you not seen the giants before you and stepped forward to slay them? Have you not laughed? Have you not cried? Are you not human? Of course you can understand this messy delight we share called life. It gets all over your face but it's worth it. You and I are siblings in humanity and maybe even siblings in Christ. We share in "soulhood", if not the same soul then the commonality of having a soul. We may not be of the same heart, but we both have hearts. We may not be of the same mind, but we share the gift of thought. You and I are connected, Reader.