Tuesday, December 29, 2009


Hello :) I want you to know that I haven't forgotten about you. I really haven't. There are a hundred things that have been simmering quietly in my little crockpot of ideas and thoughts recently. But the truth is, for my own wellbeing, some of those things are best left to simmer for a bit. I have given a lot of myself to things such as this blog, Facebook, and even a hundred small conversations with friends; those little pieces of self that you carelessly toss to whomever wants to listen. But here and now I am discovering a certain beauty in privacy, and in having thoughts that I don't need to be inclined to share, at least not yet. I am coming to relearn the beauty in sitting down with my journal and sharing in it ideas that no one necessarily needs to hear me speak of, because they are my own and that is me.

I hope you can appreciate this for a bit. I surely intend to continue to share with you all, just perhaps not for a little bit. My foundation is building beneath me while these thoughts simmer, and there is a definite strength of character growing and maturing. I am becoming a surer and more centered me, a process I am only too glad to say is taking place! But it needs time, even if only a little time. Thanks for your patience :)

Monday, December 14, 2009

Dark am I...

"Dark am I, yet lovely."
-the beloved (Song of Songs 1:5a)

(The context of this quote is that in the homogenous Hebrew culture of the time, being dark was a symbol of working in the fields under the sun, of being lower class. This is a woman who says this is who I am, and she is beautiful. She goes on to tell the listener not to stare, that her circumstances have made her this way; that she has been forced to neglect herself from the cards life has dealt her, but regardless, she is both loved and lovely.)

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Eat, Drink, and Be Glad!

Sometimes I think we as people become so focused on the so-called events of life that we forget to enjoy the here and now. It occurred to me that the single most important moment in any of our lives is the very one we are living at this moment. We can't change the past any more than Tomorrow can begin before Today has finished. When you think about all the things you have to do in the upcoming future, or let yourself be bogged down with what is in store for you, it just becomes overwhelming! But now, right now, is all you have to worry about. Don't stress yourself out! Ahhh :)

"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
-Matthew 6:34

"So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun."
-Ecclesiates 8:15

"Joy is the best makeup"
-Anne Lamott

Enjoy your day today, and enjoy your life! Don't forget that the little moments are what make the bigger ones worthwhile.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


Oh I have neglected you! This crazy semester is wrapping up now, though. Sigh. I want to tell you something: you or I or any of us don't have to be anything for anybody. I mean that. Think of all the times you have tried, intentionally or unintentionally, to change for someone. Don't! If you change, change for you. If there is something out of line in your life, then that deserves looking at. But as to you, who you are, never give that up. Sometimes we want to make someone happy, whether they be a person at the grocery store or our significant other, and so we alter ourselves ever so slightly. But hear me say, you don't have to do this. How will the world ever be affected by you if you hide yourself away? The same actor cannot play the whole play. You will only confuse your heart. Be who you are, and for that matter, know who you are. Hear me in this. The strongest people you will meet are not strong because they are like everyone else, they are strong because they know who they are, what their strengths are, and how to be that person effectively. They are not afraid of themselves, or better yet of what other people who are afraid of themselves think of them. Maybe it's cheesy, but stand out. I mean it. Feel the freedom in that!

I want to say also that I am doing better. Perhaps you never knew I wasn't, and that's probably best. These past few months have taken more out of me than I knew I had to lose, but I have been steadily rebuilt by merciful Hands, and can say to you today that I am beginning to feel like myself again. But I see now that strength, particularly my own strength, is not a matter of how I feel, but a matter of who I am. And I am most certainly not weak. Neither do you have to be. Know that. Know your heart.

I wish you the best, today.